Between the doldrums of life
May. 14th, 2011 11:26 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
shiroi_ten1. whining and complaining about life
So I applied to this really competitive internship for smart people, and I really hope to get in because then I'd get a stipend, which means...well...me making more money than volunteering. I had to choose three jobs and gosh, it was the hardest thing in the world. I had this one working outside tracking the dispersal of dragonflies that I tried to do last year too, but I guess I got jaded and didn't apply for that one. AND THEN one day after the due date, I volunteer at an insect fair with the most amazing people. I forget how amazing they are..smart, funny, educated, blahdiblah(DID I MENTION S'MORES?). The one who organized it all was an etymologist and she's the sweetest babyface. x3 So basically it ends up with me regretting the decision that I did at 12am Thursday, and then lowering my expectations. So I'm a huge pessimist who always wonders what would happen if a car fell off a windy road even though I've been on it a bajillion times.
I wish to know where life will lead me, because right now I can't see the hand in front of my face. As the crazy pessimist, I am also the hugest romanticist and I don't even want to leave the comfy home I've made with my friends and my family and my safe place. Change. I attach myself to certain people, places, or patterns and when I'm without them for too long I feel off. I'm not sure how I can handle it, because when I think about it I just stop myself from sleeping at night. Have you ever felt directionless? Is it just a phase or how do you deal with it?
2. Book Talk-The Wind in the Willows
I love this book. Also I love Winnie the Pooh and THE MOVIE IS ALREADY OUT IN THE UK I AM SO JEALOUS. fuuuu. I lent my family friend I never really see my hard-copies and I have a paperback of it but I just can't bear to read the new one. I feel oddly loyal to those. Anyways, back to the Wind in the Willows. Why I brought up the Wind in the Willows is because A.A. Milne wrote this warm intro about how this is one of the books a boy would give the girl he liked to read, and if she didn't like it he would ask for his letters back. I'm not sure if it was the letter writing or just how there are some books like that. I hear people badmouth The Catcher in the Rye and I wonder if there wasn't SOMETHING they could have gotten from Holden. I read it as a kid and just laughed, and now I reread it to laugh and wince at how human they are. It isn't like how Sedaris uses animals more callously, but accepting and amused and just lovely. C'mon, it starts out with spring cleaning, and then leaving the cleaning because the best part is spring without the cleaning.
3. Maybe going to an anime convention
So i live in San Jose and there is a convention downtown, which is close...and the GOOD thing is that FLOW is going(saw them last year and they were amazing) but I don't know if I would want to go for the whole weekend which is 60$ by tomorrow, or two days which is like...around 50$? I hate the con because they are super unorganized, never tell people things ahead of time(like a SCHEDULE or a PRICE for at-con tickets). If I do go I could go with friends, since its so close. OR I could go to the Anime Expo in LA because Kalafina is going. They are girls with the most heavenly voices, and they have done music for .hack. THAT MUSIC IS LOVELY LOVELY AMBROSIA TO EARS. Usually I can sneak in as a child for a 30$ fee and some ninja skillz. Its huge and I might see some more reknown artists. SD Comic Con next year. >:( I've done them both before, but I'm just wondering if I should this year?
4. Merman Arthur?
Little mermaid AU. Has it been done? My friend says its been prompted and never filled on the kinmeme. I've sketched three concepts, but its the angsty version, not the Disney version. Mal = sea witch? All I wanted to draw was Arthur turning into seafoam, crying. THEN I DID IT. Plus Arthur watching Eames sink, and Arthur watching Eames breath after saving him. Possibly an almost kiss. Obviously no happy scenes...
5. Sketch
Sorry for lack of art, here is David Bowie from a ref picture on my itouch. Heterochromatic eyes, guys, and that HAIR. It keeps me from dying in class. Also, anyone have a tip on how to do non creep realistic teeth or not smudging shading(all I can do).
6. Chat me up?
Sorry this is so long, but I I have a fear letting a conversation stagnate awkwardly but I shall overcome it and chat people up. My aim is miszcatastrophe, and my gchat may be miszcatastrophe@yahoo.com (but I see ienggg GCHAT CONFUSED ME), and my skype is ienggg. SO ITS NOT A CREEPER TALKING TO YOU. Also, I am not that(?) hard to talk to so if you will, talk to me?
So I applied to this really competitive internship for smart people, and I really hope to get in because then I'd get a stipend, which means...well...me making more money than volunteering. I had to choose three jobs and gosh, it was the hardest thing in the world. I had this one working outside tracking the dispersal of dragonflies that I tried to do last year too, but I guess I got jaded and didn't apply for that one. AND THEN one day after the due date, I volunteer at an insect fair with the most amazing people. I forget how amazing they are..smart, funny, educated, blahdiblah(DID I MENTION S'MORES?). The one who organized it all was an etymologist and she's the sweetest babyface. x3 So basically it ends up with me regretting the decision that I did at 12am Thursday, and then lowering my expectations. So I'm a huge pessimist who always wonders what would happen if a car fell off a windy road even though I've been on it a bajillion times.
I wish to know where life will lead me, because right now I can't see the hand in front of my face. As the crazy pessimist, I am also the hugest romanticist and I don't even want to leave the comfy home I've made with my friends and my family and my safe place. Change. I attach myself to certain people, places, or patterns and when I'm without them for too long I feel off. I'm not sure how I can handle it, because when I think about it I just stop myself from sleeping at night. Have you ever felt directionless? Is it just a phase or how do you deal with it?
2. Book Talk-The Wind in the Willows
I love this book. Also I love Winnie the Pooh and THE MOVIE IS ALREADY OUT IN THE UK I AM SO JEALOUS. fuuuu. I lent my family friend I never really see my hard-copies and I have a paperback of it but I just can't bear to read the new one. I feel oddly loyal to those. Anyways, back to the Wind in the Willows. Why I brought up the Wind in the Willows is because A.A. Milne wrote this warm intro about how this is one of the books a boy would give the girl he liked to read, and if she didn't like it he would ask for his letters back. I'm not sure if it was the letter writing or just how there are some books like that. I hear people badmouth The Catcher in the Rye and I wonder if there wasn't SOMETHING they could have gotten from Holden. I read it as a kid and just laughed, and now I reread it to laugh and wince at how human they are. It isn't like how Sedaris uses animals more callously, but accepting and amused and just lovely. C'mon, it starts out with spring cleaning, and then leaving the cleaning because the best part is spring without the cleaning.
3. Maybe going to an anime convention
So i live in San Jose and there is a convention downtown, which is close...and the GOOD thing is that FLOW is going(saw them last year and they were amazing) but I don't know if I would want to go for the whole weekend which is 60$ by tomorrow, or two days which is like...around 50$? I hate the con because they are super unorganized, never tell people things ahead of time(like a SCHEDULE or a PRICE for at-con tickets). If I do go I could go with friends, since its so close. OR I could go to the Anime Expo in LA because Kalafina is going. They are girls with the most heavenly voices, and they have done music for .hack. THAT MUSIC IS LOVELY LOVELY AMBROSIA TO EARS. Usually I can sneak in as a child for a 30$ fee and some ninja skillz. Its huge and I might see some more reknown artists. SD Comic Con next year. >:( I've done them both before, but I'm just wondering if I should this year?
4. Merman Arthur?
Little mermaid AU. Has it been done? My friend says its been prompted and never filled on the kinmeme. I've sketched three concepts, but its the angsty version, not the Disney version. Mal = sea witch? All I wanted to draw was Arthur turning into seafoam, crying. THEN I DID IT. Plus Arthur watching Eames sink, and Arthur watching Eames breath after saving him. Possibly an almost kiss. Obviously no happy scenes...
5. Sketch
Sorry for lack of art, here is David Bowie from a ref picture on my itouch. Heterochromatic eyes, guys, and that HAIR. It keeps me from dying in class. Also, anyone have a tip on how to do non creep realistic teeth or not smudging shading(all I can do).
6. Chat me up?
Sorry this is so long, but I I have a fear letting a conversation stagnate awkwardly but I shall overcome it and chat people up. My aim is miszcatastrophe, and my gchat may be miszcatastrophe@yahoo.com (but I see ienggg GCHAT CONFUSED ME), and my skype is ienggg. SO ITS NOT A CREEPER TALKING TO YOU. Also, I am not that(?) hard to talk to so if you will, talk to me?
