Oh god, I'm engaged to a douglas fir!

[shiroi_ten]

1).rambly stuff of nonesense.
8D So I've finally read the Last Unicorn (the library's copy was so old it had that vanilla smell and half broken bindings and those old canvas covers. It was almost as old as the Hornblower ones I borrowed. xD) I loved the story, and the developement of it al land it was just so beautifully written, like less metaphorical Patricia McKillip and everything. And then I reread The Perks of Being a Wallflower, which is likea YA mix of books I can't quite think of. It makes me feel like an emo/indie child.

Also it makes me think about my friends, because my bro recently brought up that I have no one to drag to most concerts(except him). There was this one kid who is younger but idk he confessed and I felt super awkard after but an OK now but he's just being mehy rn cuz I was kind of mean. ANYWAYS. There's this kid in my classes I knew a few years ago I want to be friends with because he has an adventure time shirt and god I just with I could get someone to spazz with me about it at school(there is a genderbent version with Sailor Moon refs and lolz and it is all a dream fanfiction and I just wanted to jaslgdjagasl forever, cuz my bro knows I read fanfics but idk if he knows knows its slash and porn). But I haven't realized how hard it is to make friends irl. /0\ I have a bubble and I keep on peering out of it but I'm way scared. *sigh*

I'm so glad i can spazz to people about Inception and things that come withit. It makes me feel fuzzy inside.

Fandom is my happy place, with amazing people and pretty people and love and angst that ends in love and boys in love and people in love with people in love.

I'm pretty bad with new people, and derppp kind of young and at this ridiculous point in my life where I feel crazy lost, and deadlines for things are coming up for people tojudge you by. Sometimes I feel that even if I know what I want to do, I don't know if I want it enough to carry it through and not be drowned by student loans. I want to go out of state but I don't want to miss my family;  i want to know my professors but I want to meet new people; I want to save money but I want to taste the experiences; I want to know what I want. "Self-revelation is the oldest human longing" but gahhh self introspection is so hard I'm just going to write here. I can't want too much, or it'll just all fail like all those rotton figs in The Bell Jar.


2) Art
Sorry for the ramble, didn't the title make it sound interesting? /0\ So idk, here's some art. Idk, maybe you've seen it already.


I....kind of am in love with Loki as per Tom Hiddleston. Kind of a lot. Any good fic recs? I'm in love with Eidolon right now, and after trying out Hiddie's face I may just venture into that verse(there's great fanart for it already).


3) Shiny Fandom is Shiny
I think I'm going to sign up for InceptionBB with my rl friend, but she's super worried about her writing and fandom stuff and said she'd ask her teacher who used to write fanfictions, and all I could think of was HOW MUCH I WANT A TEACHER WHO WRITES FANFICS. *sigh* I wonder if my Lit teacher reads them. xDD Anyways, it was also awkward because his name is one letter different then a teacher at my school.

Going to finish up my collabs for ae_match and all will be well. Until apps are due...

Jeff Buckley reading Poe. Its just...unf.

Just going to let problems lie and have some black masala chai infused chocolate. Its heavenly.

Comments

[eamesie.livejournal.com]

LOKI! I love his eyes and how they're repeated in the background pattern, so pretty.

[shiroi-ten.livejournal.com]

Yay thank you! I love how Loki has shifty eyes (literally) in mythology, because eyes are usually my favorite part of drawing faces. :D

[jibrailis.livejournal.com]

Making friends is the hardest thing there is. It's like, first you have to attract their attention, and then you have to convince them you're not a serial killer, and then you have to convince them you're a person they want to spend time with socially, and then once you've reeled them in, you have to keep them. SO DIFFICULT, RIGHT.

lol I can't believe this post referenced The Bell Jar. Speaking of my emo teen days.

your art is lovely, and your Loki is um, super hot.

[shiroi-ten.livejournal.com]

>A< I was such an awkward child when I transferred schools, egad I hope I'm never like that again. There were some super sad lunches, and some super awkward following-around-lost-duckling-style. OvO (psst, I am not a serial killer but I do like reading about them. *strokesxactoknife*)

hahah I can't believe it either, but I just had some figs and was like hmmmmmm figs and that book popped up. Just like the word egad. I think angst teen period was a bit pretentious. xD

Thank you! Angstypants face is why I like him so much, tbh. The actor is so smiley but I just want him to be sad. >.>

[adelaide-rain.livejournal.com]

Making friends is tough - for me, first there's the actual meeting people, the whole first hello - then if you're lucky the conversation starts - but then what if it stops? Do you just ramble or do you leave a space in case they want to speak and OH GOD difficult. I'm better at it now than when I was younger, though more impatient. It doesn't help >_>

I love your drawings though! I'm working my way through ae_match and can't wait to get to your collabs <3

[shiroi-ten.livejournal.com]

Hello is the hardest. Then I usually try to get people to talk about themselves. xD

Thank you! :) I am so blessed with the collabs, people are just so kind. *hugs*